One day, Nelson died from a heart attack. He was fifty years old.
One day, Doug
died after battling cancer. He was forty eight years old. Doug was
a college teammate and fraternity brother of mine. I hadn’t spoken to
Doug for about thirty years or so, but I am pretty sure that when Doug woke up
on the day he died, he had a good idea it would be his last day on Earth.
Nelson didn’t
have a chance to get his affairs in order. Doug did. That’s not
fair. But then again Nelson didn’t have
to wonder if each day would be his last. Doug did. That’s not fair
either. And there is a reason that is not fair. The reason is that
life is not fair. We like to think it
is, or should be. It’s not.
We have laws,
and ethics, and morality, and such. Then
there is the golden rule, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto
you." And while that works more
often than it doesn’t work, someone you have “done unto” properly has probably
left a scar on you at some point in your life. Be certain, there are no rules.
People have
rules. Societies have rules. Religions have rules. Games have rules. Life does not have rules. We like to think it does because virtually
everything in our lives has rules. Life
does not have rules. In the time it took
you to read this far, ninety children have died. In that same time no one on
death row did. I checked.
People who
should have, have not. People who should have not, have. Good
things happen to bad people. Bad things
happen to good people. What should never
happen, happens. And what should always
happen, doesn’t. That all happens for
one reason. Life is not fair. That
is something we have to accept.
And one day,
when we accept that life is not fair, we can begin to live life on life’s terms.
Because one day is truly all we have. Tomorrow is not promised. We
are not owed another day. Life is not owed nor earned; it is lived.
Nelson and Doug lived their lives well. Accept what life gives you, today.
Accept today
for the gift that it is. Today. Today is not made of minutes and hours.
Today is made of Nelson and Doug and me and you and families and friends.
Life is made of todays. A full life is
not had by the one who lives the most todays, but by the one who lives today
the most. All that matters is that you live your life today.
If you love
someone don’t tell them one day, tell them today. If you need to get things in order, don’t
start one day, start today. If you want
to do something, don’t wait for one day, start today. All we really have is today. And that is
all right, because today is all we really need. Accept today and live it like
it is your last day.
Because one
day, you will be right.
That is all.
Afterword
If you were fortunate enough to have known either of these fine men, be grateful and celebrate each day with those you love if, for no other reason than that Nelson and Doug cannot, today. And if you have faith, be grateful that you will be able to celebrate each day with them again, One Day.
Nelson
Give
Us This Day...The Lord's Prayer, or the Our Father as it is commonly
referred to, is a prayer that many know by heart. Sometimes that is not
good thing. We say the words and lose focus of the meaning over time.
Take a minute when you have one today
and focus on the words. In that prayer you will find the recipe for
living life as we are intended to live life. And say it every day
because in that prayer we only ask for one day. One day is usually all
we can handle and one day is always enough. That is all.
Nelson
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A fund has been established in Nelson's name to commemorate his life and raise money to be used for the education of his daughter. Go to the The Nelson Carey Education Fund to donate. Donations will also be accepted at any of Summer Sounds at the Square concerts held at the Belvedere Square in Baltimore, Maryland throughout the month of August.
Memorial donations in Doug’s name may
be made to:
Marine Corps Heritage Foundation, 3800 Fettler Park Drive, Suite
104, Dumfries, VA 22025, Sentara Hospice House: 6015 Poplar Hall Drive, Suite
308, Norfolk, VA 23502, or Cancer Care Foundation of Tidewater: P.O. Box 12693,
Norfolk, VA 23541 or www.ccfot.org
