FOR HIRE

    I have been involved in business in some form or another for a long time.  I have started businesses.  I have owned business.  I have worked for huge national businesses, family businesses and almost everything between the two.  I love business, not because business interests me, but because of the people I have met along the way.

     A week ago, I was asked by a former employee to fill out a reference, online, for a job he had applied for.  He started hounding me several times a day to get it done for him.  I finally got around to it yesterday.  Right on time, at noon, he called.  He asked me if I had filled it out.

     “Sure did,” I answered.

     “What did they ask?” he said.

     “The usual things.”

     “It all went good, right?”

     “Sure did. I might have made three mistakes though.”

     “What?  Mistakes?  What mistakes?”

     “I think I misspelled heroin three times.”  He didn’t think that was funny.  I did.  When you are in business the one thing you need above all other things is a sense of humor.  The second thing you need is to be able to roll with the punches.

     Once I owned a demolition company with a business partner.  One day, a foreman, Thomas, came up to my partner and me after our morning site meeting.  He had not shown up for work the previous day.  In construction you are lucky if anyone shows up at all, to be honest. 

     “Are you ok?” I asked.

     “Yes sir.  My wife had a problem yesterday”, Thomas said.

     “Is she ok?”

     “Yes sir, she had a problem with her magina.”

     “Her magina?” I said.  I stopped my partner from correcting Thomas with a look my partner knew all too well.  That morning’s crew was still standing around but started drifting off to get started on the work of the day as if the mere mention of magina problems was contagious.

     “Yes sir. That is what the doctor said.  He gave her some medicine and said her magina will be as good as new in a week or so.” Thomas said.

     “Ok Thomas, that’s good then.  But listen, the next time your wife has a problem with her magina, or anything else, please give us a call if you can just to let us know you won’t be in to work.  Deal?”

     “Deal.  Sorry about that.  I’ll call next time,” Thomas said.  He put on his gloves and we got work.  

     There is nothing easy in the demolition field.  Nothing is light, nothing is simple, nothing is safe, and everything is a mess. We worked hard that day and around lunch time one of our newest guys, Kevin, came up to me and said, “I think I am going to have leave early today.” 

     I said, “Why?” 

     “’Cause my magina is killing me,” Kevin said.

     “Your magina?”

     “Yea.  I’m pretty sure it is my magina.”

     “Do you need to go to the doctor?” 

     “I think so.”

     “Would you like me to take you to the doctor?” I asked.  

     “No, I think I’ll be able to make it on my own, as long as my magina holds out.” 

     “Ok, get a doctor’s note if you can. Ok?”

     “Ok.”  And off he went.  I looked over at my partner, Willy, who was just shaking his head.  

     “You think his magina will hold out?” I asked Willy.

     "You never know. Sometimes a magina will hold out a lot longer than you think they should.”

     We figured that would be the last we would ever see of Kevin.  Demolition is brutal work. Some guys think they can cut it, but once the axes start to fly they find out that it is much more difficult than it looks.  Sometimes they will tell you they quit.  Sometimes they just never show up again and sometimes, like Kevin, they come up with an interesting reason to change careers.  He was not there the next day.  He was not there the day after that.  Surprisingly though, he showed up three days later.

     “I lost my note,” Kevin said.

     "Your magina all better?" I asked.

     “Fit as a fiddle.”

     “What did the doctor say was wrong with your magina?”

     “He said I over worked it.”  

     Willy turned and walked away.  His whole body was shaking he was laughing to himself so hard. He was cackling under his breath.

     “Did you doctor say you could come back to work?” I asked.

     “Yes sir.  He just told me to take it easy on my magina.”

     “All right then,” I said, “Go on over and let the other guys know your magina is ok now.” 

     I walked over to Willy and we sat on the tailgate of my truck.  We drank our coffee and we watched as Kevin walked over to the rest of the crew.  He sat down with them, and even though we couldn’t hear what he was saying, we could tell what he was saying.  And then they started laughing.  They started laughing so hard some were covering their faces.  Some held their stomachs.  One guy even laid flat on his back and started howling.  When Thomas finally let Kevin know, in no uncertain terms, that while he may have magina problems, they could not have possibly been caused by his own magina.  Kevin looked like he had seen a ghost.  He looked over at me and Willy.  He knew he was fired.  So he got up and started walking toward us.  Willy said to me, “What you wanna do?”

     “If he is willing to roll with us, we will roll with him I suppose.” I said.

     “You gonna make it that easy?”

     “Nope,” I said.  Willie and I sat on the tailgate.  

     Kevin said, “Am I fired?” 

     “Nope,” I said

     “I’m not?” he asked.

     “Nope.”

     “I still have my job?”

     “Yep.”

     “Great!  Thank you.”

     “On one condition…”

     “That I don’t lie to you guys anymore?”

     “Nope.  You may as well keep lying, you want to fit in around here.”

     “What’s the condition then?”

     “That you change your name.”

     “Change my name to what?”

     “Willy will let you know.”  

     He looked at Willy and Willy yelled over to Thomas.  “Hey Thomas, Magina will be working with your crew for the rest of the day.” 

      Everyone was laughing for the rest of that day.  Magina couldn’t even help laughing at himself.

     I have met a lot of people in business and I have learned a lot from each one of them.  In business and in life it is important to do two things and to do them every day.  Laugh, especially at yourself, and roll with the punches.  Not necessarily in that order. 

     That is all.