That is all. ™: READER POST! - Wednesdays with Mimi

Jenny Smith

After my hospice volunteer training in 2009, I was ready and raring to go. I spent several months volunteering in the Carroll Hospice Dove House and felt "ready" for prime time -- an in-home patient. I wasn't prepared for most of them…not for what you'd expect to be the "normal" reasons of not being prepared for an in-home hospice patient experience, but because I rarely got to meet my patients. Seems like every patient I took on, passed on before I got to meet them. I felt like the hospice volunteer office may secretly be calling me "the angel of mercy" or worse!

After many assignments of barely getting to know any patient, I was assigned Mrs. G. She was/is not your "usual" hospice patient. Not only did I get to meet her (HOORAY!) but she eventually "graduated" (my term) from hospice care! I'd never heard of such a thing!! She had recovered enough from her original medical need to be released. The family had become accustomed to the hospice care and were quite disappointed that this was going to end. Mimi, as family and close friends refer to her, and I were also disappointed as we had come to really care a lot for each other.

At her release from hospice care, I made a decision to stay on with my visits, not as a volunteer but as her friend. Mimi was at the very heart of why I began volunteering with Carroll Hospice…I had a need to be with, and make a difference in the lives of, older people.

We met for 2 - 3 hours every Wednesday afternoon and usually played 2 - 3 games of Scrabble during each visit. I was often heard saying, "SHE'S IN IT TO WIN IT!!!" or "SHE'S A SHARK TODAY!" Mimi was often heard saying "Oh! She got the "Z"!" or "Hon, what does "zit" mean?" or funnier yet, "Is that a word?" Mimi is 94 and had not heard the word "zit" before but after realizing it was officially an acceptable Scrabble word…straight out of the Scrabble dictionary I got for us to use…she herself used "zit" on occasion. That gave me great pleasure; I was actually able to teach MIMI, who taught ME how to be a good and strategic Scrabble player, a "new" word!

After 2 beautiful years of friendship and some ups and downs physically, Mimi is once again in Carroll Hospice's gentle and loving care and I have been given the official volunteer role again. Even throughout, what is to be, her final battle, Mimi has made EVERY single ounce of effort she has to play Scrabble with me. What I believe will be our last game was last Wednesday, February 22. She lay in bed for much of our visit, while I read to her, we prayed, and we talked. She decided she wanted to get up and attempt to play a game. We began the game and after we each played 2 words, she drifted off to sleep. She awoke to see me looking at her and I said, "How about if we just talk some more?" She agreed and we enjoyed the rest of our visit having a conversation about her beliefs about death and heaven and not understanding why God had left her here for so long. I told her that I have ALWAYS loved older folks and had so wanted a close relationship with someone like her. I said that I didn't think God was doing all of this for me, but I was thankful to Him (and her, for sticking around through the suffering) for her and that without her, I would never have had such a wonderfully fulfilling experience and friendship.

I visited Mimi yesterday (February 29). She is now mostly unresponsive. I stayed for 3 hours, reading her favorite Bible passages, reading lyrics from a hymnal from which she knew ALL the words to EVERY song, praying aloud for God to alleviate her pain and telling her how much I have loved her and our friendship. I decided that I would sing a hymn (my favorite) that I had sung to her weeks before (at her request otherwise I would have NEVER put her through that misery), How Great Thou Art. I have found that my aging voice can't hit the high notes as well as they used to. At one point in the song, I tend to get a little (probably a LOT) creeky but I muddle through it. When I got to that point, her eyebrows and forehead peaked upward and I thought, "she's singing along with me!" That made me really happy. Either that or she was wincing because my singing was hurting her ears! Either way, I knew that she knew I was there and that made me REALLY happy.

I'm not sure if I'll get another Wednesday with Mimi. Part of me selfishly hopes that I do, but a bigger part hopes that I don't. I want her suffering to end and for her to be united with God, her husband, parents and sisters who have gone before her. I will miss her so dearly but Love is a gamble. You step out on that ledge and take a chance.
Step back if you can't handle the wind but if you can stand there with strength and endure the fears that go along with it, your rewards are numerous.

I love you and will miss you forever, Mimi. Thank you for sharing the only gift you had to offer, yourself. I thank you for that most precious gift.