WHAT ABOUT ME?

I was watching the cat chase our turtle through my living room.  It was a very slow chase, but it was still a chase.  Things can get pretty dicey in my house.  As I’ve said, we live next to a river, but we are also under the constant threat of flooding during heavy rains or hurricanes.  I can deal with natural disasters and catastrophes easily enough these days, though, except for this time.

     Not very long ago, we were under a serious flooding threat.  I don’t get to speak much in my house.  It is best that way since when I do speak no one ever seems to listen anyway, unless I say “Let’s go out to dinner” or something along those lines.  I decided that this would be a good time to speak since everyone was gathered in the living room watching the turtle cat chase, the weather reports on TV, texting, zipping around the internet, and gossiping all at the same time.  I said, “Can I ask everyone something?”  

     No one answered.  

     So, I went right for the throat with my go to approach.  “Let’s go out for dinner!” I said.  

     That snapped them to attention. 

     I asked my youngest daughter, “If we had five minutes to pack the three things you need most and get out of here, what would you take?” 

     “That’s easy Dad,” she said, “I would take my cell phone, my laptop and my cat.”  

      I asked my oldest daughter the same question.  Her reply was the same.  “I would take my cat, my laptop, and my phone.”  

     Then I asked my wife.  

      She said, “I would take everything in the safe, put it in a bag, and then take my two precious angels.”  She smiled at me and said, “Girls let’s go. Daddy is taking us to dinner.”  

     What about me?  Nobody was taking me?  That stung.  On the way to dinner, I punished them by singing classic rock at the top of my lungs while Taylor Swift sang about an ex-boyfriend on the radio.   

     I wondered if Taylor Swift ever thinks for a second that she may be the problem.  My wife turned the radio off and said to me, “What’s your problem?” 

     My youngest daughter said, “Daddy is sad Mom.” 

     “Why are you sad Daddy?” my wife asked me. 

     “He is sad because we left him in the flood,” my oldest daughter said. 

     “Daddy’s not sad,” my wife said to the girls.  “If I saved you two in the flood that is all Daddy needs, so Daddy didn’t need to take anything.” 

     I hate when she does that. My wife was right.  Again.  She is tricky like that.  They truly are the only thing that I need.  This holiday season, my kids asked me what I wanted for Christmas. 

     I told them I already have what I need.

     And I do. 

     That is all.